The biggest lie men are taught? Boys don’t cry.
This single phrase has caused generations of men to suffer in silence, hiding their emotions under a mask of success. In our latest episode of the Spiritual Capitalist podcast, Dalton Locke and Joe Speredon dive deep into the untold emotional crisis plaguing modern men and explore how vulnerability, accountability, and brotherhood can break this toxic cycle.
Joe Speredon’s journey from thriving in business to almost ending his life is a powerful wake-up call for all men struggling in silence. In a world that still glorifies the Lone Wolf mentality, Joe’s story shows us that no man needs to walk the path of healing alone.
Watch the full conversation here. https://youtu.be/kMFo5Gvyg6Y?si=HUSDR0UodscgLW6R
The Lie of “Boys Don’t Cry”: How Emotional Suppression is Destroying Men
We tell boys from a young age: “Don’t cry, be strong.” But what happens when that emotional suppression festers for decades? Joe describes how, from a young age, he was conditioned to repress emotions. His success in business, family, and health masked an internal storm: panic attacks, anxiety, and eventually, addiction.
Many men live this exact narrative. Externally, they thrive, but inside, they are crumbling under the weight of their unprocessed pain.
Key Insight: Suppressing emotions is a recipe for hidden anxieties, addiction, and self-destruction. It’s time we challenge this toxic belief and start encouraging men to express vulnerability.
The Lone Wolf: Why Isolation is Killing Men
“Men are suffering alone,” Joe declares. The Lone Wolf myth (that men should handle everything on their own) has left countless men isolated, disconnected, and silently battling their demons.
At his lowest, Joe seriously contemplated suicide. He even justified it by thinking, at least this way, I can still provide for my family with his life insurance. This chilling moment is a reality for too many men who feel the weight of being the financial and emotional provider but lack a support system of their own.
Key Takeaway: The Lone Wolf mentality isolates men and traps them in silence. Asking for help is not weakness, it’s survival.
The Power of Brotherhood: Healing Through Connection
Joe’s turning point came when he discovered Sacred Sons, an organization that brings men together to heal. At first, the idea seemed foreign to him, retreats, vulnerability, drumming in the woods? But desperate for change, Joe gave it a shot. What he found was life-changing: he wasn’t alone.
“I found out I’m not the only one going through this,” Joe reflects.
Brotherhood broke Joe’s cycle of isolation. It gave him a space to be vulnerable, express his emotions, and receive support. Men, like women, need safe spaces to connect emotionally and heal through community. This connection was the first step in Joe’s journey toward reclaiming his life.
Action Step: Seek out a community or brotherhood. Whether it’s a retreat or a local men’s group, connecting with others is essential for healing.
Why Masculinity Isn’t Toxic: Reclaiming the True Meaning of Being a Man
The phrase “toxic masculinity” has become a catch-all term for anything deemed negative about male behavior. But Joe challenges this: “Anytime a man does something someone doesn’t like, it’s labeled toxic masculinity.”
The real issue isn’t masculinity itself, it’s the narrow, outdated ways men have been taught to express it. True masculinity isn’t about dominance or aggression. It’s about creating safety, protection, and empowerment.
Key Insight: Masculinity isn’t toxic, our outdated perceptions of it are. We need to redefine masculinity as strength through vulnerability, leadership through accountability, and power through compassion.
Taking Accountability: How Owning Your Life Can Empower You
One of the most powerful moments in Joe’s story is his realization that he was responsible for the life he had created. For years, he felt like a victim of circumstance, blaming others for his unhappiness. But through the Sacred Sons retreat, Joe was confronted with the truth: his choices had shaped his reality.
“Everything I had done up to that point in my life had created my circumstance,” Joe admits.
This moment of accountability is difficult for many men. It forces them to realize that the true source of their pain is often not external forces but the choices they’ve made.
Actionable Takeaway:
1. Reflect on the choices you’ve made that have shaped your current reality.
2. Take ownership of where you are, and empower yourself to make new choices moving forward.
Breaking Codependency: Men Must Stop Carrying Others’ Emotional Baggage
Men are conditioned to manage everyone else’s emotions, their partner’s, their boss’s, their family’s. Joe realized he was always trying to keep everyone happy at the expense of his own emotional health.
This is where codependence takes root. Men believe that they need to be the emotional rock for everyone around them, leading to burnout and emotional depletion.
Key Lesson: Men must prioritize their own emotional well-being and let go of the belief that they are responsible for everyone else’s feelings.
A New Masculine Narrative: A Call to Action
Joe’s journey is not just a personal story, it’s a call to all men to rewrite the masculine narrative. The old version of masculinity, built on silence and emotional repression, is dying. A new era of empowered, emotionally intelligent men is rising.
“Masculinity itself is so much more powerful than the way we’ve culturally created it,” Joe emphasizes.
For men reading this, it’s time to embrace accountability, practice vulnerability, and build connections with other men who are walking the same path.
Practical Steps to Start Healing Today
If you’ve felt disconnected, alone, or emotionally drained, here are some **actionable steps** to begin your healing journey:
- Find Brotherhood: Look for retreats, support groups, or online communities like Sacred Sons where men come together to heal.
- Own Your Choices: Reflect on the areas of your life where you feel stuck. Take responsibility for the choices that led you there, and empower yourself to make new ones.
- Start Conversations: Reach out to a trusted friend or family member and begin opening up about your emotions. Vulnerability is the first step toward healing.
The Path to Healing is Through Connection
The conversation between Dalton Locke and Joe Speredon is a powerful reminder that no man should suffer in silence. The world has conditioned men to believe that they must bear their burdens alone, but the truth is, healing happens in connection.
If you are ready to start your journey of healing, begin by embracing vulnerability, seeking out brotherhood, and taking accountability for your life.
Click here to view the full episode https://youtu.be/kMFo5Gvyg6Y?si=HUSDR0UodscgLW6R
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If Joe’s journey of healing through vulnerability and brotherhood resonated with you, share his story with anyone who might benefit from his insights on redefining masculinity and emotional empowerment. And be sure to subscribe to Spiritual Capitalist for more transformative conversations on achieving true success through purpose, connection, and authenticity.
